December 2009
16 posts
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RyanAConklin Does everyone carry a Sharpie wherever they go? Based on the graffiti in every public restroom, it sure makes me think so.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin Twitter is the new restroom wall. You are looking at old comments and solicitations. So write here your # (for a good time…)
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RyanAConklin Please keep in your hearts and prayers my mustache. I killed him this morning.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin Terrible news about your loss. I wish I had had the opportunity to kiss him goodbye before he was cut down in his prime. :(
The Orlando airport is near the happiest place on Earth, yet in many ways is so far from it.
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@mikeyyyc Merry Christmas. I’ve never had eggnog. It’s sounds nasty.
@RyanAConklin Merry Christmas. Will you be a-wassailing this year?
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The Princess & the Frog is really boring, but the end is very tearful: Ray and Evangeline.
RyanAConklin Learn from Santa. If you ever break & enter a home, just leave wrapped gifts near the fire place before you leave. No charges will be filed.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin You haven’t been seeing all the commercials for Broadview security. The loud alarm keeps 100% of all intruders from...
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Charlie Chaplin: “Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.”
RyanAConklin Without Googling or researching, does anyone really know what “figgy pudding” is?
IndySkye @RyanAConklin Figgy pudding is too easy. I could beat you six ways from Sunday in general trivia (not Beatles or military trivia). :P
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RyanAConklin Imagine a world where there exists A1 Steak Sauce flavored toothpaste, deodorant, cologne, and shampoo!
IndySkye @RyanAConklin A1 everything? It would be sweeter to have Ryan Conklin flavored lollipops, candy canes, and jumbo hotdogs. Just saying.
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RyanAConklin I realized I cross my legs when I sit more times than I should.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin You will keep crossing your legs because you want to, regardless of others - that’s part of what makes you Ryan. I love it.
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@RyanAConklin I’m flying today so I’m applying your “don’t die”. Lots of soldiers traveling through IND & ATL. Wish you could have been one. 5:12 PM Dec 19th, 2009
All my bags are packed, I’m ready to go. I’m standing here outside your door. I hate to wake you up to say goodbye. 8:58 AM Dec 19th, 2009
I...
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RyanAConklin I would like a tattoo on the inside of my thigh of a squirrel reaching up.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin A squirrel? Wouldn’t a tattoo of an 8” adjustable wrench with a 2 3/4” jaw capacity coordinate better with your bolt? Nice.
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RyanAConklin When someone says they need to get something off their chest, they should literally take off their shirt before talking.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin In that case, you need to get something off your chest, Ryan, every day, on YouTube (or add music and a pole and do a PPV).
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RyanAConklin I’d rather be a smart ass than a dumb ass.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin Would you rather be a real soldier, or an action figure? Remember, action figures are not “anatomically correct”…
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RyanAConklin Jeopardy is the adult version of Sesame Street. It subliminally instructs us while we watch.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin Say it this way, A: “It subliminally instructs us while we watch.” Q:”Why is Jeopardy an the adult version of Sesame Street?”
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RyanAConklin I’ve figured it out. If you just add sleigh bells to the background of any song, it instantly becomes a Christmas song.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin I shook some bells while playing Black Sabbath’s Iron Man. It immediately put me in the holiday spirit. Cool.
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RyanAConklin The Burning Man event is a big false advertisement. They don’t really burn a real man.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin BTW, when people say their loins are burning for you, Ryan, they’re not literally but it’s still fun to help put out the fire.
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RyanAConklin When you drop food on the floor, it is God trying to watch your weight.
IndySkye @RyanAConklin The embarrassing part is when God watches you pick it up and eat it anyway. What are you now, 150#, 31” waist?